From the desk of Cassie Vest :)

Hey Y'all,

I'm 56,000 words into book 2. For context, Nellie and the Sea of Trials turned out to be about 63,000 words. Sooooo, I'M ALMOST DONE WITH DRAFT 1! Wooooo!

In the meantime, it's STORY TIME! Like my characters that often ask the Lord of Light for guidance, I have to pause myself and do the same with Jesus. Jesus loves it when I pause to listen and chat.

A Baby and a Deadline

It was 9 PM on a Friday night, and my husband and I were weary from the work of the week. We both had our heads in our hands as we sat on our couch, contemplating all that was yet to be done.

You see, I had been pushing myself hard to write and publish book 2 before our baby girl is expected to be here in early December. My husband, Sam, similarly had a goal to market and publish his first party card game he's been developing on the same timeline. Neither goal was looking realistic, and we had stretched ourselves thin with little sleep.

We took our heads from our hands and looked at each other. It was evident we weren't getting any more work done that night, but our hearts were not satisfied. In fact, they felt grumbly.

Cassie. Jesus poked at my grumpy soul. Will you spend time with me?

I shifted in my seat. I didn't really feel like it, but I hadn't spent quality time with Sam and Jesus in a while. That would probably be a good idea, I replied. I hefted my 29-week pregnant body from the couch and went to get my Bible. "Sam," I said. "We need Jesus."

Sam cracked a tired smile and agreed. I got my journal, and Sam got his customary giant yellow notepad. We both sat on the floor with the Bible open between us.

"I'm going to read Psalm 23 aloud over us three times, with time to process/journal in between each reading. Let's see what Jesus has to say tonight." I started reading.

The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul...

The words washed over us, but they didn't really sink inside me yet. I knew I needed my soul restored, but I didn't feel the restoration. I felt pressure and weariness.

After two minutes, I read it aloud again. The last line stuck out on the second reading:

I shall dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

Forever. The word tasted foreign on my tongue. I would be with the Lord in his house forever. So why was I so frantic to get book 2 done now? I began to journal.

My daughter is not a deadline, the written words ping-ponged around in my head. I had been treating our unborn baby like a deadline. Like our lives would be on hold and drastically changed forever by her entrance. In some ways, that's not wrong. Our lives will be forever changed, but that's a lot of pressure for a tiny baby.

What happens if I miss my self-imposed deadline or she decides to come early? I might be tempted to place resentment on her just because my timeline expectations weren't met. She doesn't deserve that. The Lord's timeline is longer than that. He cares about forever. And resentment doesn't bode well when we're talking about eternity.

So I let go of my timeline after a little wrestle. Sam filled up half a page of notes with his own little wrestle, too.

I read through Psalm 23 aloud the third time.

You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies...

It struck me that the Lord sets the table in this verse. I can't strive my way to do it or make everything perfect. He's the one that sets us up and provides the meal. In this passage, we don't even get to work alongside Him. He does it, and in front of our enemies no less. In front of my tendency to strive in my own strength, He tells me to sit back and have the table set before me.

Honestly, as someone who used to define herself by what she could achieve, that's such a relief.

An immense pressure of responsibility lifted from us that night as we talked/prayed through everything.

So yes, I'm writing book 2, and I'm super close to finishing draft 1. Will I publish before two months is up? No, and I'm not feeling the pressure to do so. My baby girl is not a deadline, she's coming along for the ride whenever she decides it's time to be out of my womb!

Thanks for being here :) Would love to hear your hot takes on timelines with Jesus or really anything this made you think of!

Blessings,

Cassie Vest

P.S. As always, if you've read my book, I'd love to hear what you think of it. You can email me or leave a review on Goodreads, Amazon, or your favorite book review site. Your thoughts or comments may just sway me as I write the next installments. Perhaps I'm planning to write your favorite character's book as book 5, but you want it to be book 3! You never know how your thoughts could pivot an author.

P.P.S. The Nellie audiobook is available! Listen on your fave platform like Spotify, B&N, Chirp, Google Play, Amazon, or Kobo. It's also available on Hoopla, the free library app!